Kenny Stabler is in tax trouble with the IRS | Kissing Suzy Kolber


The Snake Is In Deep Trouble With The IRS
07.06.12 Written by Danger Guerrero

Former Oakland Raiders quarterback Kenny “The Snake” Stabler has found himself in some pretty serious tax trouble. Even after losing his house to the IRS a little while back, a federal judge ruled that he still owes over $260,000, plus penalties and interest. As Michael David Smith at ProFootballTalk points out, the government probably won’t be able to collect the total amount because Stabler’s monthly payments will be based on his income, and he really isn’t doing anything right now other than some appearances at NFL events. Stabler’s attorney, Robert Galloway, told the Mobile Press-Register that “Stabler is pretty much retired.”

The Snake strikes again!

Stabler was seen as a colorful character during his playing days, when he was selected to four Pro Bowls in the 1970s, won the 1974 MVP and led the Raiders to the title in Super Bowl XI. But that colorful character has had a sad post-NFL life, with three divorces and three drunk driving arrests, the last of which cost him his job as a commentator on Alabama football broadcasts.

This all brings up an important point: If I worked for the IRS, I would audit every single person in the country whose nickname is “Snake” or “The Snake.” There is a 100% chance that someone with that nickname cheated on their taxes. I guarantee it. My itinerary on my first day of work would literally be: 1) Buy a calculator. 2) Find out where my office is. 3) Audit all Snakes. 4) Figure out who I need to talk to about lunch orders. I would haul the Snakes in five at a time and make a stern, disapproving face at them as they produced their receipts for tattoo parlors and knife stores and biker bars with names like “Knuckleheads” and what not, and when they were done I would announce that I’d be confiscating their Harleys and leather jackets to cover their debts. Then, instead of turning them over to the government to be sold at auction, I would take all the motorcycles and jackets, sell them on the black market at a deep discount, and use the money to run away to Tahiti.

It’s almost too easy.
Kenny Stabler is in tax trouble with the IRS | Kissing Suzy Kolber