I was born on a hot August day in 1972. On my sixth birthday, I ran away from home and joined the circus. I mucked the elephant stalls and drove the clown car, but I wasn't happy dealing with elephant poo and a bunch of uppity mimes who wouldn't shut up.
At the tender age of nine, I ran away from the circus and joined a cult. It was there I received the most valuable advice of my life...
I remember the day vividly. It was sultry afternoon and I was sorely parched. Licking my lips, I trudged toward the ice cooler. That's when Dennis Wilson took me by the arm and offered me the advice that I would live by till this very day. He looked down at me with sparkling eyes and said, "Son, don't drink the Kool-aid." So I didn't, and I still don't. I'm a lemonade man.
I'm retired now and I like to prank call my neighbors and leave naughty messages on their answering machines while they're at work. I also like chocolate chip cookies and the color green.
No, I am not a season ticket holder
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Baxter Springs, Kansas
Golf, Football, Writing, Going to Midget Rodeos and Pit Fights, and taking long walks on the beautiful Kansas beaches.
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