Radierfans.Net Related Article
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M. RAY - UIP
JACKSONVILLE, FLA. – Responding to calls from concerned people in the Sandwood Shores
Community, Jacksonville Police officers picked up a indigent man yesterday. The
man was described by witnesses in the neighborhood as just wandered aimlessly around the
community with a blank stare while mumbling incoherently. He appeared to be in a very weakened
state and was hardly capable of walking.
The man offered little resistance as police took him into custody. He was taken to the nearest
police station and preparations were being made to take him to a nearby St. Luke’s Hospital for
examination. But thinking the man to be too weak to move and therefore harmless, the police left
him unattended for a few minutes. Upon discovering him missing, they began a search for him.
The search did not take long. Evidently, the man had crawled across the floor and pulled himself up
into a chair at the desk where the Police Department’s old Royale typewriter sat. Seemingly
oblivious to everyone around him, the man would type on the typewriter for a while and then pound
the typewriter fiercely and then repeat this procedure, all the time while shaking violently.
As the police officers carefully approached the man, they got into a position where they could see
what he was typing. After removing the paper from of the typewriter, they were surprised to see
that he was actually typing coherent words. The man ignored them and just kept repeating the cycle
of typing and then pounding the old typewriter.
Thinking fast, the police officers summoned the police psychiatrist for advice. The psychiatrist was
shown the paper and he carefully examined the words that the man had typed. With little hesitation,
he correctly diagnosed the situation. The man was suffering from an advanced case of RiNDS,
and the doctor told the officers the best way to handle the situation.
After being forcibly taken from the typewriter, the man was taken to a computer terminal with access
to the Internet. Immediately he stopped shaking and his eyes lit up. His strength seemed to return
before their very eyes. Then he began to type at an incredible rate of speed. As the officers
looked on, he worked at a fervent pace, logging into the RaiderFans.Net website as Rhode Raiduh
and submitted 150 new posts in 5 minutes and then he began to speed up. After this, the man’s condition improved dramatically and after a short period of surveillance, he was released under his own recognizance.
When asked to assess the situation, the police psychiatrist said, “This condition can befall certain
people when they deprived of access to RaiderFans.Net for prolonged periods of time. He was
suffering from a severe case RiNDS - Raiderfans.Net Deficiency Syndrome. Evidently that site is
as addictive as anything known to man.”
And you were wondering what happened to Rhode. Either this or maybe he has fallen in love.
Remember, don't believe everything you read on the Internet.
It is the offseason.
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